Q. Asking your man to marry you
I am involved with a wonderfull man. Normally I would wait for him to pop the question, but I can't wait. I am so in love with him that I want to know now. I am really nervous and have never been in this situation before. What do I say. How does a man react to popping the question. I know women want the romance and spontenanity.. so what about men. How would a man really want to be proposed to. I have children and have been married before. He has no children and never been married. He has become the man of our house. Not only has he taken responsibility for all of us, but he has given all of his heart to each of us.. That is pretty amazing. He has become not just a parental figure but the center of my children's lives and mine. So I would like to propose to him in a manner that would express how deep not just my love is but my children's. How much our lives have changed and improved since he became a part of it. Our family is now finally whole. - Norfolk

A. Well, now this is the toughest question I have had to field yet! Now I may be a bit old fashioned, but I still believe that a man ought to be a man enough to give you a ring with a proposal, or he should not presume to hold your exclusive attention. I believe that the ring is symbolic of his willingness to sacrifice of himself for your good; to put your interests and the interests of the family ahead of his own. You know, diamonds are formed by extreme heat and pressure, and so are the strongest relationships. It sounds that there has been plenty of heat and pressure already in your household; the difficulties of being a single mother are too numerous to go into here, but needless to say, you should be commended on surviving that trial and congratulated on finding a man worthy of yours and your children’s affections. My suggestion is to let him do the asking. Let him be the leader now and he will be a better leader of the household when you need him the most. Isn’t that the kind of husband you want? Someone who is there and willing to make the tough decisions during times of crisis, willing to make that decision in light of what is best for the family and not himself. This to me is the essence of the good father and husband’s role. While I do not do it perfectly, I strive to. Now I have to confess that most of us men are a little slow to recognize when we have what we really have hoped for versus what we think we want. Particularly when we think we want something else, because of the glamour of a television lifestyle. We hope deep down for exactly the story you have told: a family that needs us, wants us, and loves us. It seems to me that he should see things the way you do and you may not know what surprise he has been planning for this moment. He may be a little slower than you to come to this realization, but I am sure he is on the way. You do not want to beat him to the question. All the best blessings, David Nygaard

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